Sunday, February 17, 2013

A Father's Scout Abuse and His Children's Recovery


      Siblings Discover Father's Boy Scout Abuse and Remember Their Own This story plays out like so many others. Friends, you do not know but many of the people around you, especially those "odd" children in school, have been or are being abused, emotionally, physically, and sexually. Children of abusers learn to adapt their actions to their abuser’s "mood" at the time. When this story talks about the siblings joining a "pack" to try to protect each other from abuse- my brother, sister and I did the same thing. The Lord has led our family on a wonderful journey to help bring healing to victims and help them discover, as we have, the great freedom one can have when they uncover the truth of what happened in their past and the truth that the power of knowing Christ died for you can set you free. It is so very true, there is such traumatic abuse that memories can be locked away. In order to be able to live and work and go to school, a very intelligent brain will compartmentalize these memories. Sometime later, when you are in a safe place in your life, your mind very well might release these memories to you like the nun in this story. I know many people whose fathers either moved onto another sibling or threatened to without compliance.
Why aren't these parents prosecuted? "my word against theirs" does not bode well for young children whose parents may be “upstanding citizens.” Often, mothers stand by and look the other way like the mom in this story. I know of one woman who was sexually abused by her father until the day she married (quite early) at 17.  Her mother knew. The whole family was a traveling church singing group and every time he abused her he would make her get on her knees and pray for forgiveness. I know I speak out quite vocally against some pretty awful things but when it comes to child abuse everyone is silent. What do you do when you suspect a child is being abused?  If you are like 99% of the population, it's nothing. Why? Because it seems there is nothing that can be done. However, there is much to be done. Whenever you hear or see perversion of God’s natural way of living, speak out.
There is a fine line between ministering to someone who themselves needs to be set free and a person who is abusing someone else. Churches have done much harm in siding with the abuser and spouting the need to forgive and have not done enough to make sure that person is truly following in Christ. You see there is black and white. There are good people and there are bad people. The Bible is very clear. You either serve the Lord or you are captive to the devil and a servant of sin. You are to help those and forgive those who are good- who display the fruits of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness. Pray for the others. Example- a man who looks at Playboy may need to be set free but if he is married he is also an abuser of his wife and children. This is how sexual molestation starts, the inception is a deviation from the proper form of sexual expression between husband and wife brought together by God. One sin leads to another and then another. This is why I speak out against Playboy.
Playboy is what they call a “gateway drug” and because it cannot satisfy because it is not a natural sexual expression, it leaves the user wanted something more and more perverted. People who molest children or emotionally degrade them, give signs to those around them all the time of the kind of person they are and what they are doing at home. You just don’t pick up on them because our 21st Century society has been desensitized. A neighbor child I grew up with was given Playboy magazines as a young boy very early, at least by 5 yrs old. My mom was appalled when she saw him showing them to my older brother and went to talk to this boys parents who explained that that was how they were teaching him about “the birds and the bees.” Seriously? Those are some pretty big bees! No, they weren’t, they were molesting their son at home. My mom didn’t understand this at the time. She is just like most of you are now, very brainwashed. But once you understand how molesters and abusive people work, it all begins to make sense. This young boy was sexualized BY HIS PARENTS and he, in turn, went on to try to sexualize other children. The grace of God comes in to help children who may, by no fault of their own, do things to others their parents or others have done to them. God can work in a child’s life and set them free and heal them but better it never happens.
This article, in part, blames the Boy Scouts for not doing more. Actually, in this case, for that time, they were right on target. Should more have been done? Absolutely, but society thought that child molestation was a mental illness and not a crime punishable by strict measures. Even today, molesters and child abusers get off fairly easy because many judges are perverted themselves. I just read about a judge who gave a female teacher probation for molesting her 13 or 14 yr old student because the judge said there might not have been another way for him to “have his needs met.” Seriously? We bat our eyes, blink, and just go on with our lives. If things like these don’t cause you to stand up and shout “NOOOO!” something is wrong.
No one was there to stand up for my brother, sister, and I. I tried to take my father to court when I was in 3rd grade but my mom’s female lawyer was flirting with the defense and the judge wasn’t much help either. My mother tried to protect us from the violence and it’s only by the grace of God we weren’t hurt even more. My dad’s girlfriend was molested by her father as was her sister and brother. Her brother went on to molest several other children. I know one little girl whose memories are so very dark I wouldn’t even mention them. I remember being around these two men and on an Easter Sunday we went back to my dad’s girlfriend’s parent’s house as they watched Jerry Springer Uncensored. It was one of the most vile things I had even watched 2 secs of. I just wanted to leave. No such luck, but I left that room. Those men gave me the heebie jeebies and one time they looked at my legs and made very inappropriate comments to my 16 yr old self and I expected my dad to say something to these perverts. Nope… so I took my little sister by the hand and led her away from a man who molested his two daughters and the son he spawned to molest other little children. Oh, and the father’s wife was a Baptist church secretary who did absolutely nothing to stop her husband.
She couldn’t. A woman in a relationship with a molester, especially when it’s a father molesting his children, has had to turn off that part of her brain that distinguishes between good and evil. In order to survive these women are no longer human. God can set them free but they cannot help their children. I know one woman whose husband molested her sons, told her  5 yr old son when he questioned her about his daddy’s Playboy “Your daddy said that the day he stops looking at these magazines is the day he stops looking at mommy.” See, this man was a homosexual pedophile who used pornography to get himself “straight” for him to abuse his wife. Even when confronted with the truth, this woman denies it.
The link below tells a common story, for molesters do not have just one victim, but many. They force themselves on whoever they can get their hands on, those who won’t or can’t say or do anything. The boy is this story said he would offer himself to his dad when his dad was “moody” or aloof- to win his affection. The mother knew. This story plays out again and again. Friends, if you were one of these boys or girls, there is hope. If you feel guilt, the Holy Spirit can show you, Go is not mad at you, he does not punish you for something someone made you do, it is not your fault! The Holy Spirit will show you whether it is the wrong kind or right kind and you can be forgiven and returned to a cleaned healed sound mind for anything you may have done or done to you. With the knowledge that Jesus loves you, you can be washed clean of the things done to you.

Isa 53:4-5
4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed
Isa 58:6-11
6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? 7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? 8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward. 9 Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; 10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday: 11 And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not
Jer 30:17
17 For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.
Mal 4:2-3
2 But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.3 And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the LORD of hosts.
If you have hurt others, turn, repent, STOP, and allow the light of God to rule and reign inside of you. If you’ve been hurt, go back, remember those memories, remember the truth, and allow the Lord to show you how your life SHOULD have been.  Beloved, remember, if you are following Him He loves  you. There are those God hates. It is true. God wants all to repent but not all will. Our faith will bring about the justice we need!


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