Friday, March 8th, 2013
A little Michelle "Hope Note" ;)
Hope: This morning as I searched through my mind, after 2 months of feeling “off” and not quite myself, I found my hope.
I have always had hope, I’ve always had an underlying joy, an eager expectation about the future. However, after doing a research study for “healthy” participants in December and January I developed a chemical imbalance that threw all of that off. For the past couple of months I have been able to see first hand what people with depression suffer. The odd part is that because of my close relationship to the Lord, I knew that in my case, it was strictly a chemical imbalance. I kind of suffered these symptoms from an out of body view. I was able to use it almost as a case study because I was still me, I just didn’t exactly feel like myself. I was mildly depressed, but more then anything, I had lost that hope and joy that is usually ever present in my being…
Now I have my hope back. Where had it gone? How did it come back? This morning, when I woke up, I took an inner reflection and realized, I felt like myself again. I think by going through this, the Lord was allowing me to understand in more depth, the healing process. When bad things happen to us, as believers, we go through phases of doubt and then faith and doubt again. It’s like a short circuit. Faith is electricity and doubt is a loose wire. If we get knocked loose, that power- that faith- gets shorted out and we are in darkness. But God uses the Holy Spirit as the electrician! He repairs the loose wires and again we have light, we have faith, we have hope!
They say that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and they prescribe drugs to counter that imbalance. Amazingly, they work for a lot of people, allowing them to enjoy daily life again. The only problem with this is that drugs can’t fix what caused the imbalance to exist in the first place- only God can do that. Depressed people are depressed for a reason- even if their lives seem perfect. There is some "short" in their brain, it could be the lack of finances, loss of a loved one... or it could be something less visible like a childhood memory, or a lie someone told them about themselves (i.e. you’ll never be good enough). It could be a working mother who just wants to stay home and raise her children, or a man that isn’t fulfilled because he’s not in the line of work that God has called him to do. You might feel lonely, like no one understands you- even when you’re surrounded by people who love you.
Depression is a disconnect from the voice of God, from the Holy Spirit. While my chemical imbalance was caused by an outward, tangible thing (this study drug), I knew that God could put it right. While talking with my mom about this she suggested that I start with a simple truth: God loves me and Jesus died for me. I knew that, I’ve known that my whole life, but knowing it and letting it consume your entire being are two different things. I reminded myself of this simple truth several times, I dwelled on it, and it took root. It blossomed. When we know we are loved- by a loving Father, then we know He will take care of us, provide for us. We know that just like our earthly parents, (or how you feel about your own children), that parents want the VERY BEST for their kids.
Luke 11:11-13 “ If a son shall ask for bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he ask an egg will he give him a scorpion? If ye then which are evil, can give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Ghost to them that desire him?
After that, we understand that if any of us were the only person on earth, Jesus would still have laid down his life for us… We realize that we are precious- highly valued- that God has a plan for our lives. Who cares if the devil and evil people have knocked that plan off course!? God can fix everything and make it all as it should be! There is HOPE!
My future looks bright, not bleak! I shall not fear the devil- I shall not fear evil people in power. I worship the MOST HIGH GOD! What can man do to me?! There is no law that man can make that can separate me from worshiping my God and walking in the plan that He has for my life!
I think went through a couple of months of feeling off my game so that I could come and say that there is JOY on the other side! You don’t have to stay in darkness and despair when you know your Father is the King of kingsand Lord of lords! If you are depressed, there is a reason behind it, a cause. Ask Him to show you what it is! He will help you fix, change and HEAL it! He wants us to have life and life more abundantly!
Proverbs 13:12 “The hope that is deferred, is the fainting of the heart, but when the desire cometh, it is as a tree of life.”
When you don’t have hope, your body dries up, but when you have that hope it’s like a tree of life! How beautiful is that!? The first step is to recognize that something is broken, then you realize that you need the Holy Spirit “electrician” to repair your loose wires! You need that faith, that connection, that light! Then God will help you repair the problem in your life causing the chemical imbalance, the real tangible thing that is worth be depressed over! He'll fix it! But be ready, because it doesn’t stop there- give God an inch and He’ll take a mile and He’ll start repairing every area of your life! Hope, Hope, Hope!
Much love yall!
~ M
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